Margaret's Birth Story

This will probably be more detail then anyone here cares about, but I want to remember it.

I was due with Margaret Saturday the 12th of February. I had this feeling that I was going to go into labor early so the week before I had everything done and ready. And I was more then ready to be DONE being pregnant. Well, my due date came and went. After that I didn't think that she was ever going to come on her own. Jack didn't. I was so disappointed because I really wanted to go into labor on my own and give birth naturally. I didn't know if I was given pitocin that I could do it because of my experience with Jack. But I also was physically exhausted from being pregnant and work was about to get ridiculously busy for Kev, so we decided at my appointment on Tuesday the 15th to schedule an induction for Thursday. On Wednesday morning I called to schedule the induction, after that was done I started to get ready for the day. The hospital called right back (about 9ish) to say that Thursday was a busy day but if I wanted they had no one then if I could be in by 11 am. Panic settled in. Was I really ready? What about the pitocin? Should I change my mind altogether and just wait for her to come on her own? What about Jack? My house was a mess. Oh and Jack just let Ollie out the front door and he wouldn't come back. I was stressed out and sweating. I called kev to let him know that was what I might do, then I called the hospital back to see if I could talk to the midwife (Jennifer) that would be delivering me. She was awesome, she talked to me for like 15 minutes about trying to do it sans pitocin and many other things. She calmed me down and helped me to not freak out and make sure this was what I wanted to do. Honestly, I still wanted to wait for her to come on her own, but I really felt this was the best thng for my family. So by then I made the choice 9:45ish to go in for sure. I scrambled, got things ready, told Jack that I was going to the doctor to get Margaret out of my belly. Kevins mom came over and took care of Jack. Kev gt home and we left for the hospital.

We got there a little after 11, and got settled in the room. I was at a 3 (I had been for a week). My nurse was terrific, Paula, and totally supportive and believing that no matter what I could do it naturally. Jennifer came in and talked to us and we decided to break my water and walk around together contractions going. 12 o'clock and we broke my water, we put a time limit of 2 pm for my contractions to be regular. I walked and walked and walked. My contractions were good and getting stronger az I walked, but everytime I sat down they would become wimpy and sporadic. By 2 nothing had changed. Still at a 3. So our next plan was to start the pitocin. I cried. Literally. I really didn't want it but knew this was what was going to happen. Jennifer, Paula and Kevin were all fantastic, they said they would start me on the lowest drip and that as soon as they could theybwould turn it off. They all were totally encouraging saying that I could still do this. So I thought I could too, and about 2:30 they started the pitocin. Jennifer was there almost the entire time. They said it would take a while for the contractions to really start, but they started almost immediatley. Jennifer rubbed my feet while kev helped me focus and breath. We chatted. Not for long. Pretty soon they got really intense and Jennifer coached kev on some things to do to help. Then they got really strong. I always thought I would be fairly calm and quiet, apparently I was wrong. So yes Leslie, I yelled, I cried. I believe that more then once I yelled out 'No, you don't understand, I am going to die!' about 3:30ish they turned off the pitocinand checked me. I was only at a 4. I didn't know if I could handle it for hours more like this but they said the
contractions would lessen in intensity so I decided to keep trying. But they didn't. Since I was off the pitocin Jennifer said we could try getting in the bath. While the tub was filling up, I gave in. I told them I needed an epidural. I cried. I yelled at them to get it now or I would die. There was no relief between contractions. The anethesiologost came in about 4:15. When I sat up it was relief. Mind you it hurt like nothing else still, but I felt that I needed to push. But I didn't think that was possible, I was only at a 4. By the time I realized that indeed was what I was feeling and told everyone, the epidural was in place. Paula said 'well you don't want to push yet, your still sitting down'. So they gave me a shot of the anethesia, but didn't really set up a drip. I laid back down and to everyones surprise she was crowning and I was indeed ready to push. With the edge off the contractions, I focused and pushed. A few pushes later and at 4:40 little Margaret was born. 7 lbs 3 oz 19 in (same exact as Jack).

They put her on my chest and we met our little perfect girl.

So here are my thoughts on her birth now. I loved loved loved using a midwife. She was totally there as much as she could be and helped us both and wanted what we wanted. I totally want to go natural again. Kev said 'don't feel bad. You went Natural except for the very end. You did awesome.' and I don't feel bad or too disappointed. It was nice not to have to deal with the after pains. But I also would have liked to say I did it all the way. So only time will tell what happens next time. But this time they didn't over dose me on the epidural so I was still able to feel and move a lot while pushing. Jennifer did perineum messaging and I didn't tear or get stitches. Between that and not Bering on anethsia for hours recovery was awesome! Mind you I still had a baby, but I could walk and move and I felt great! Exhausted
but great. Oh and total hormonal shakes and sweats, but great.

Things I want to try next time. If there is a next time.
Wait for labor on it's own.
take a class for more strategies on dealing with the pain.

I am going to try and get kevins side of the story
I am a little embaressed with how dramatic I got, but I was in massive pain and thought I would die. You try going from a 4 to a 10 in 30 min. Now I just laugh about it.
I wrote this whole thing on my iPhone so please excuse all the mistakes, I will edit it later. And put up pictures.